Before you say “Well, duh”, give me a minute to explain context…

I’ve been a fan of Blizzard games for a long time. I’ve played all their major titles since their first incarnations; though, admittedly, I dabbled just a bit in Warcraft 1 and never managed to beat Diablo 2. Still, I’m what some might consider to be a mildly-rabid fangirl for Blizzard games; they make good stuff, I like their art style, and it doesn’t hurt that all of their games are put out for Macs as well as PCs the day of release (all you PC-exclusive gamers have NO IDEA how good you have it in the games department. Jerks.)

I’ve had my eye on Diablo 3 since it was first announced at Blizzcon a few years ago. My interest was initially luke-warm (“Oh Boy, more clicky-clicky”), but as time went on I became more and more excited. My appetite was also wet by playing “Torchlight”, which made me realize that a whole lotta clickin’ actually can be fun if the methods of the clicking and the rewards rendered from the clicking are good enough. And it’s just so dang PRETTY! The clincher for me though was seeing all of the awesome goodies in the Collector’s Edition box set; an Art Book filled with delicious images from Blizzards art department AND a sweet little demon skull with a USB gem in it’s head (which also contained Diablo 2, which I never finished) for only $40 more? Where do I sign, Blizzard? JUST TAKE MY MONEY!

Some things, however, were not meant to be.

By the time I realized that the release date for Diablo 3 was right around the corner, the collector’s editions were all sold out. While not the main problem with my acquiring the game, this definitely made me a little sad. I knew I could trade/purchase these items later (I hoped), so it wasn’t the big reason why I can’t get Diablo 3 right now.

If I just caved in and bought myself Diablo 3, I would be dead to the world. I would crawl into my little demon hole, clicking like mad to destroy all of the evil corruption in the world with my magical lightning arrow flurry tornado smash (I’d of course be rocking the Demonhunter; Gotta stick to the Pew Pew), and any attempts to drag me kicking and screaming back into the real world would be met with a lot of whining, begging, and, well, kicking and screaming. And with BPD book 4 books coming in this week (meaning lots of AE books to draw in and orders to ship out), AND of course Anthrocon next month, there’s no way I can afford that.

So now I have to just try and avoid all gaming websites and blogs and review podcasts and twitter and, well, let’s be honest, the entire INTERNET for like a month or two so I can be spoiler-free until I can actually allow myself to play the game and not feel like I’m a complete failure. It just HAD to come out during the busiest time of my year, didn’t it? It’s not entirely their fault, but really. Couldn’t they delay it, like, 3 or 4 months? Blizzard’s all about delaying stuff, right?

So for all of you jer-I mean, super lucky people who are right now playing Diablo 3, destroying evil and sewing their evil demon fields with salt…. leave some for me, OK? I’m gonna have a LOT of catching up to do, and I can’t have you ending all demonic suffering before I have a chance get at ‘em. It’s only polite.

So yeah. Diablo, you’re an Evil Game for making me feel this way. Go die in a fire.